Monday, May 25, 2015

Top Five

Top Five……

Reasons why I have not written my Blog regularly the last three months:
5). I have been doing a lot of laundry.
4). Managing Rand Paul’s campaign.
3). Stanley Cup Playoffs on every night.
2). Too many faculty committees.
1). 125 students

Differences between a scholar and non-scholar:
5). Scholars wear bow ties.
4). Non-scholars know who Reggie Dunlop is.
3). Scholars do not work in the summer.
2). Non-scholars use a blow dryer.
1). Scholars never pick up the check.

Reasons my golf handicap is 14.2:
5). The Molson muscle.
4). Married.
3). The same irons since 1980.
2). Republicans control Congress.
1). 125 students

Reasons I live in Claremont, CA:
5). Pizza N’ Such
4). Malibu kicked me out.
3). The parties at POTULV’s house.
2). It is not Upland.
1). The Trees.

Reasons Mike Babcock left the Detroit Red Wings this week to coach the Toronto Maple Leafs:
5). Better beer in Canada.
4). Pavel Datsyuk is 37 years old.
3). Don Cherry told him to stay in Detroit.
2). His wife can keep the house and live in Birmingham, Michigan.
1). $50 million

Reasons American Pharoah will not win the Triple Crown:
5). Too much partying.
4). Bob Baffert’s son Bode likes Materiality
3). Eddie Olczyk says so.
2). Long Island Ice Teas
1). 1.5 miles

Reasons I still drive a 1997 Mercury Grand Marquis:
5). I think I am Joe Friday.
4). The trunk.
3). $0 debt.
2). Chicks.
1). No bluetooth.

Books for summer reading:
5). “Leaving Orbit” by Michiko Kakutani
4). “The Stranger” by Harlan Coben
3). “Disclaimer” by Renee Knight
2). “The Sixth Extinction: An Unwanted History” by Elizabeth Kolbert
1). “The Wright Brothers” by David McCullough

Reasons we like Congressman/Vice President/President Frank Underwood:
5). He likes pork ribs.
4). “Everything is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.”
3). “If you don’t know how the table is set, turn over the table.”
2). “The road to power is paved with hypocrisy and casualties. Never regret.”
1). Claire Underwood

Reasons students turn in papers/assignments late:
5). The teacher is a softy.
4). Computer, specifically printer problems.
3). Car troubles.
2). Someone is sick or dead.
1). Dining hall food.

Reasons not to choose an Employee as Emeritus:
5). Three words: “Back Room Deals”.
4). The employee is known as “Twenty Hour Work Week”.
3). Double and Triple dipping in Real Estate and Consulting.
2). No one knows what they did or who they are???
1). They did their job!!

Salary CEOs:
5). Nicholas Woodman, GoPro - $77m
4). Satya Nadella, Microsoft - $84m
3). Mario Gabelli, Gamco Investors - $88m
2). Michael Fries, Liberty Global - $111m
1). David Zaslav, Discovery Communications - $156m

Favorite songs this month on the iPad:
5). “Little Bitty Pretty One”, 1957: Thurston Harris and The Sharps
4). “Maggie Mae”, 1971 – Rod Stewart
3). “Johnny B. Goode”, 1958 – Chuck Berry
2). “Gymnopedies”, 1888 – Erik Satie
1). “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”, 1968 – The Rolling Stones

Summer cocktails:
5). Cucumber-Lemonade Mocktail
4). Mojito
3). Watermelon-Tequila
2). Mango-Peach Sangria
1). Peach Donkey

Reasons we celebrate and honor Memorial Day:
5). Battles of Lexington and Concord, 1775
4). Battle of Iwo Jima, 1943
3). Battle of Midway, 1942
2). Invasion of Normandy, 1944
1). Battle of Gettysburg, 1863

COLLEGE CHRONICLES – Top Five Commencement Speeches:
5). May 17 – Alan Alda: Carnegie Mellon University
4). May 24 – Robert Redford: Colby College
3). May 17 – Tim Cook: George Washington University
2). May 16 – Colin Powell: Rice University
1). May 25 – Michelle Obama: Oberlin College

BIRTHDAYS THIS WEEKTop Five Birthdays this week:
5). Missy Franklin (20)
4). Candice Bergen (69)
3). Yogi Berra (90)
2). George Strait (63)
1). Greg Ball …famous Father.

THE SWAMI’S WEEK TOP PICKS – Top Five Swami Picks of the Week:
5). Tampa Bay wins Stanley Cup Semi Finals over New York
4). Anaheim Ducks win Stanley Cup Semi Finals over Chicago
3). Carpe Diem to finish Third in the Belmont Stakes
2). Frosted to finish second in the Belmont Stakes
1). American Pharoah to win the Belmont Stakes & the Triple Crown
Season to date (55-21)

MARKET WEEK – Top Five worst entry-level jobs:
5). Building Inspector
4). Claims Processing Clerk
3). Consumer Loan Clerk
2). Sheet-Metal Mechanic
1). Floor Assembler

DRIVING THE WEEK – Top Five topics driving the week:
5). George Putaki enters the 2016 Presidential race, who???
4). Exam week…the horror.
3). POTUS rethinks strategy on ISIS
2). Upland , CA decides to cede from The Union
1). The drought.

Next week: Jack Ass of the Month and Summer Movies

Until Next Monday, Thank you to all who have served.

Claremont, CA
May 25, 2015

CARTOON OF THE WEEK – Peanuts, by Charles Schulz

No comments:

Post a Comment